December 9, 1981 - July 2, 1998
December 9, 1981 - July 2, 1998
On July 2, 1998, I had to make the decision I hoped I would never have to make. Over the past couple of weeks, she'd been growing weaker and weaker. Her legs could barely carry her, she wasn't eating much, and she was having seizures nearly everyday. The last two days of her life, she was crying almost constantly. It broke my heart to have her go through that. I held her and tried to comfort her, but I could only do so much. Cleo was in too much pain. So, that morning, she was given a bath, dried off and shown as much love as I could possibly show her. Then it was time to let her go. I won't recant my entire trip the vet, but it will always stay in my mind. How I held her, and told her over and over again that I loved her. I cried from the moment the vet came in to give her that shot til hours had passed and I was too exhausted to do anything but sleep. Sleep was the hardest thing, and it took me 3 tries to acheive it. Everytime I laid in the bed, I'd cry even harder. For most of her 16 years, Cleo slept in my bed w/ me. Now it sits there...empty. I sometimes look behind me, somehow expecting to see her furry little self, sleeping, just like she used to do. I'd reach over and pet her, and continue w/ what I was doing. But, she's not there, and she never will be again. I suppose that some people probably think "she was just a dog," but to me, she was more than that. She was like a child. 16 years is a damn long time to spend w/ someone...that's more than half of my life. Learning to live w/out her is a task I'm not looking forward to, but I know it must be done.
I had already planned on making this page before she died, but I hadn't gotten around to it. I'm actually still scanning pictures of her. I will post them on here, but for now, I need time. In the meantime, anyone who has ever lost a pet may take comfort in the essay below. It makes me feel better just reading it. And please, anyone that wants to email me to discuss their own loss, please do. The more I talk about this w/ people, the more it helps. My email is cma70@usit.net.
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable. All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent, his eager body begins to quiver. Suddenly he begins to run for the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. You have been spotted and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face, your hands again caress the beloved head and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from you life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together...
- author unknown
Two "stories" (one a copy of the above) is featured at the In Memory of Pets website. Please check out Story and Tribute
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